Using art, puppets, music or books might help children open up about their reactions. Help Children use Creative Outlets Like Art and Music to Express Their FeelingsĬhildren may not be comfortable or skilled with words, especially in relation to difficult situations. Be careful not to overwhelm them or expect them to find answers for you. If you tell them about your feelings, you also can tell them about how you deal with the feelings. They might feel that only children are struggling. It can help them to know that others also are upset by the events. Tell young people if you feel afraid, angry or frustrated. You do not need to explain more than they are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions. By listening, you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn more about the support that they need. Let kids know that it is okay to talk about the unpleasant events. In fact, you may communicate that the subject is taboo and that you are unavailable if you remain silent. Not talking about it does not protect children. Children and youth are exposed to the events as soon as they can watch TV or interact with others who are consumers of the news. Adults and children learn about disasters and tragedies shortly after they occur, and live video footage with close-ups and interviews are part of the report. The reality of today's world is that news travels far and wide. So what is a parent, teacher or other caring adult to do when disasters fill the airwaves and the consciousness of society? Don't Assume that The Kids Don't Know About It We would like to ensure that they have happy, innocent and carefree lives. We would like to protect those young minds from the pain and horror of difficult situations. Wars, shootings in schools, natural disasters, deaths at sporting events, terrorists attacks-as adults we hope that these and other tragic outcomes will never happen anywhere and definitely will not impact the children and youth we care about. (The following excerpt was developed at Columbine High School in the days following the shooting and distributed via list servers, web pages and handouts at programs.) "Talking to Kids When Talking is Tough" (Adapted from Columbine High School) Instead tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and that you want to understand and assist them Don't tell them that they are "lucky it wasn't worse" - traumatized people are not consoled by those statements.Don't take their anger or other feelings personally.Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding the children.Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help.When you feel ready, consider helping others in needįor Colleagues, Friends and Family Members.Assist them in expressing their reactions to traumatic events. Take breaks from media coverage of crises.Seek help from professionals if severe traumatic stress symptoms persist.Continue to educate yourself and family about normal reactions to a disaster.Be understanding and tolerant of others reactions.For example, reestablish daily routines for yourself and your family. Set small realistic goals to help tackle obstacles.Reduce expectations about your level of productivity for a while.Ask for support and help from your family, friends, church, therapists or other community resources.Give yourself permission and time to grieve.Loss of time, place, or person orientation.Increased or decreased awareness of surroundings.Difficulty identifying familiar objects or people.Here are some common signs and signals of a stress reaction. It simply indicates that the particular trauma was just too powerful to manage without help. This does not imply craziness or weakness. Occasionally, the traumatic event is so painful that professional assistance from a counselor may be necessary. With the understanding and the support of loved ones, stress reactions usually pass more quickly. The signs and symptoms of a stress reaction may last a few days, a few weeks or a few months and occasionally longer depending on the severity of the traumatic event. And, in some cases, weeks or months may pass before the stress reactions appear. Sometimes, they may appear a few hours or a few days later. Sometimes, the emotional aftershocks (or stress reactions) appear immediately after the traumatic event. It is very common, in fact quite normal for people to experience emotional aftershocks when they have passed through a horrible event. Once you have experienced traumatic event - although the event may be over - you may experience now or later some strong emotional or physical reactions. (Adapted from Los Angeles County Department Of Mental Health)
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